This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize