4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
