why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
