if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
