Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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