Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The Olympian is in my bed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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