I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
