I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think people are normalizing furries
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
