Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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