I am in a vortex of obligation.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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