Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
