your thong is hanging out like whoa
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
