I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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