dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
