He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
