So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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