i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
