That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
