Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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