Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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