I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
