ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
