Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
