Having a random hookup so left but love u
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
