Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
