so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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