I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
