so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
