Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
