i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
