let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
