Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
