she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize