i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
