I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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