dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
