I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
