the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
