I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
