do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
