just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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