Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
