all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
