Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
