You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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