holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
