can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
