do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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