You smell like stripper and shame
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
