Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
