Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
