wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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