Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
