i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
