So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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