I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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