I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
