She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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