Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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