Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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