She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
