I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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