I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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