I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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