just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
