just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
