Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
