That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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